The Shadow Side of Gemini
For the next installment in my series on the shadow sides of the zodiac signs, we’ll be exploring the darkness of the Gemini archetype. This piece is for anyone with a strong Gemini signature in their chart (sun, moon or rising), a packed third house (the house Gemini rules) or a strongly aspected Mercury (the planet that co-rules both Gemini and Virgo).
Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash
At their best, Gemini individuals are funny, curious, friendly, and are able to hold multiple points of view on any given subject. They are loyal friends and companions who always retain a close relationship with their inner child. Because they are life-long learners, Gemini can often be found picking up the basics on many different topics at a time. They are quick witted and clever and know when to throw a joke into the mix to lighten the mood. They are equally as wonderful at parties and social gatherings as they are as students or as teachers.
But alas, Gemini hasn’t gotten its bad reputation online for no reason. Represented by the symbol of the twins, when Gemini’s evil twin comes out, it can be a whole other ball game. In its shadow, Gemini can be emotionally disconnected, selfish, full of nervous energy, an eternal child, shallow, coldly calculating, controlled by the many critical voices that live in their heads and unable to stay focused on the things that truly matter to them.
In their shadow state, Gemini gets cut off from their hearts. Only focused on what’s in their heads, they can get bogged down by the details- easily making mountains out of mole hills. Without an inner compass to guide them, they will make decisions surgically, treating emotions as problems to be solved rather than as information to better understand themselves. These behaviors can deeply affect their quality of life and relationships.
Being ruled by Mercury, the planet that is associated with our thinking minds, the average Gemini spends a lot of time in their heads. They are constantly tuning into the various voices inside of themselves. Even if they might not put it into so many words, they’re often aware of the “evil twin” within. In a clearer state of mind, Gemini is able to notice the various thoughts that pass through their heads, look at them with some level of curiosity and let them go. In their shadow state, however, Gemini can become overly identified with their thoughts. Everything that runs through their minds seems to be of equal importance. Unable to let the little things go, they can easily perseverate on whatever their brains latch onto. When this happens, Gemini can feel like they’re prisoners of their thoughts.
Gemini is an air sign, and as such, their starting point when it comes to emotions (their own and others) tends to come from a rational and logical angle. It can be said that Gemini does not feel emotions, but rather that they think them. As a healthy Gemini matures, they are able to learn how to actually feel their feelings. They might not enjoy this process, but at the very least they can develop some respect for their individual feeling nature. However, in their shadow state, Gemini can become clinically intellectual about any and all feelings. Feelings become a threat to be neutralised.
They can so easily disconnect from their own emotions that they have a hard time empathizing with their partner’s feelings. They may look down on a partner for choosing to share and express their emotions. Indeed, the unhealthy Gemini might accuse their partner of making a scene or being overly dramatic simply for expressing any negative emotions at all. Gemini only has the mental space for happy, carefree emotions and they have no issue in simply cutting someone off for daring to voice an unpleasant thought. This can cause their relationships to suffer terribly, as no one will put up with the cold detachment that an unhealthy Gemini can dish out for very long.
When Gemini is at their best, they are efficient multitaskers, able to flit from one task to another without too much effort. That said, when Gemini is in their shadow state, their usual excited but tempered energy becomes nervous and frenetic. Their multitasking ability turns into an inability to pay attention to much of anything. They go from one task to the next, never completing anything they start and then beating themselves up for dropping a ball- or four. A nervous Gemini is a live wire, liable to snap at any moment. They become the epitome of a nervous wreck. Overstimulated and overwhelmed, they just keep moving without making much progress until they completely fizz out. The rest that results from this breakdown is not rest so much as it is complete and utter mental exhaustion.
As one of the three air signs, Gemini generally enjoys other people. Even if they are socially introverted, they tend to be open to communicating with, sharing information with and engaging with other people. More so, their friends are very important to them, with whom they’re liable to be quite charming, funny and wholeheartedly loyal. When Gemini gets into a dark place, they cease to be able to connect with others the way they usually do. They can become quite selfish, using other people as information gathering resources, as opposed to forming actual connections. Gemini begins to see everyone around them as simply a means to an end. In addition, Gemini can get very focused on nitpicking or overthinking things that their friends say, forgetting that it’s okay for someone else to hold a different opinion.
One of the most charming things about Gemini is how no matter how old they are, they remain connected to their inner child. This is yet another facet of their complex personality for them to explore, nurture and play with. When in an unhealthy state, Gemini can become too identified with this inner child, leading them to avoid growing up in fundamental ways. Gemini will actively avoid their responsibilities, become overly reliant on others, and live in a state of arrested development for as long as they can stay in their own version of Neverland. The quintessential Peter Pan, shadow Gemini will entrap you in their little world and then expect you to clean up their mess when all the fun is over.
In astrological circles, the go-to is to blame water signs for being overly emotional and moody, but the truth is that everyone has emotions and moods. In Gemini’s case, they can easily hop from one mood to the next, never fully processing a particular emotion before another mood takes them. It is this quality that gives Gemini their “mercurial mind.” In Gemini’s case, they can go for long periods of time believing that they’re emotionally literate because they can “name their feelings,” but in reality, being able to name one’s feelings doesn’t equate to actually being able to feel their feelings. This quality of Gemini can confound the people close to them and make it incredibly challenging to be in a relationship with them.
In relationships, Gemini can be a very curious, charming and fun loving partner. They enjoy pairings where there is a meeting of the minds. In their shadow state, Gemini will use their highly developed conversational abilities to manipulate and to get what they want. They have no problem with using words as a weapon. They can also easily run hot and cold with their affections. One minute they think you’re everything they’ve ever wanted, the next they couldn’t care less for you. When Gemini goes very dark, they will use this changeable ability they have to their advantage. They might even engage in this with multiple people at the same time. If you are seeing or dating a Gemini who is engaging in this kind of behaviour, call them on it. If they are willing to listen to you, then there’s a good chance that the relationship is salvageable. If not, better head out.
Gemini has many endearing qualities to them, but because of how bright and intelligent they are, they can easily fall into the traps of overthinking, under feeling and not committing to the things (or people) they say they’re committed to. If a Gemini individual finds themselves falling into their shadow state, it can be extraordinarily helpful for them to engage in practices where they can talk through their feelings with a trusted therapist or counsellor. Gemini also benefits from practices like journaling as a way to get their emotions out. Finally, because Gemini is so connected to their child self, doing inner child work can be a practice that brings them lots of healing.
The Gemini archetype teaches us how to lighten up, let go and not take things so seriously. It teaches us to be curious and open towards other people and to life. Any healing practice that allows Gemini to ask themselves questions and to become curious about their own inner life can help them to be the best people they can be.
