The Shadow Side of Virgo
The last couple months I spent introducing my new series that details the shadow side of each of the 12 Western zodiacal archetypes. Last month, we talked about the dark side of Leo. Today, as we approach the end of Virgo season, let’s jump right into the dark side of Virgo. Keep in mind that this is applicable to anyone who’s sun, moon, or rising are in Virgo, as well as anyone with a strong Mercury or sixth house.
Virgo is mutable earth, which means their very nature is to shift and change at will. In their shadow, Virgo can easily morph into what they believe will allow them to attain their goals. They are the power behind the throne and are best personified by characters like Doug Stamper in House of Cards, or, in a more positive iteration- Mr. Crabb in the show Mr. Selfridge. Cunning, intelligent and underhandedly controlling, Virgo in its shadow is the Perfectionist Extraordinaire. They want things as they want them, and they’re not above manipulation in order to get it. However, unlike the ways in which air signs manipulate through words or water signs manipulate with emotions, Virgo will manipulate by controlling the actions of other people. They do this by making themselves so indispensable and so good at their jobs that you can’t see your life without them.
The Virgo’s mind is always aware of what is wrong and what is out of sorts in the world around them and this leaves them with extraordinary feelings of dis-ease. In fact, the 6th house of the astrological chart is associated with Virgo and it rules things like health, daily routines and disease. Virgo is obsessed with all of these things, which is why they’re so compelled to always keep things so nit-pickingly up to their own standards. They’ll usually start with the things they can control, which means that they have certain ways in which their immediate environment must be. It is Virgo energy that demands the dishwasher must be loaded the right way or that the blankets must be folded to an exact standard. If they’re not, Virgo will do two things- one is that they’ll come over and correct your action in front of you while disapprovingly looking at you OR they will say something underhandedly like ‘Oh, let me help you with that.’ This sounds helpful and kind but it’s really just Virgo wanting things to be ‘The Right Way.’
Virgo’s need for things to be ‘Right’ goes beyond just their immediate environment. Exacting standards must be met by their partners, their family members, friends, coworkers and everyone else they come into contact with. Virgo has a bit of a reputation for enjoying ‘Fixer-Upper’ relationships because they will gladly tell you all the ways you’re living your life incorrectly. If you let them, they’ll gladly tell you what to wear, what to eat, what vitamins to take and what workout regimen to follow. At first, this might come off as loving and Virgo will advertise it as such. ‘I’m just telling you these things for your own good.’ But is it really for your good? Or is it for Virgo’s own entertainment or need to fix things. To make things (and people) just so? Be careful about this type of Virgo. Virgos desperately need to be needed, but they can take this too far. While they’re busy ‘fixing’ you and holding up a saintlike level of behavior, they are under no obligation to change themselves. As soon as you don’t need them anymore, they’ll be gone before you can snap your fingers. After all, if you don’t need them to fix you then that means they’ll have to be accountable for the places they fall short. Virgo in its shadow is not interested in seeing this.
Don’t think Virgo acts this way because they feel good about themselves. More than likely, they’re beating themselves up in their own heads. They walk around with a huge inferiority complex characterized by a lot of shame, guilt and self hatred. They are obsessed with Right Behavior because they think that if their behavior and actions are perfect, that that’ll take away their own feelings of feeling less then. After all, Virgo is human like all of us but they notoriously dislike the fact that they have emotions and instincts. Emotions are messy. Instincts are scary. Ruled by the brainy planet Mercury, Virgo would prefer to bypass emotions and instinct through logic. Unfortunately for Virgo, this only goes so far. Virgo’s attempts to control their human feelings through logic find that they often spin into various neuroses, such as intense anxiety or a compulsive need for outer order.
Virgo also has a tendency to be a bit of a know-it-all. Famous for being quite intelligent and book-smart (hello, Hermione Granger), Virgo can often be found collecting all this knowledge for a variety of reasons. In a social pecking order where they often consider themselves, less than, being smart can be their way to the throne. This is another way in which they can prove to be indispensable to more powerful people; the way they can be close to the power and control things from behind the scenes. In addition, collecting knowledge can also help the Virgo who feels incredibly out of control put some structure around themselves. Unfortunately, while it can be incredibly useful to have a Virgo friend (since they often are libraries of knowledge), they can come off like Know-It-Alls in their shadow, harshly criticizing and judging those they think are intellectually inferior to themselves.
Like Pisces, their opposite sign, Virgo can be a bit of a martyr. Since they are convinced that no one knows The Rules as well as they do, they’re the type to look at a task and say to themselves, ‘Well, it must be done, so I guess I’ll do it.’ Never mind if they don’t want to do it or don’t feel up to the task. They’re famously duty-oriented and also completely unwilling to allow someone else to do it since then they would have to risk the other person doing the task in a way that is Wrong. But Virgo can take this too far and actually drive people away since they’re incapable of accepting help from others and most people don’t want to bother trying to live up to Virgo’s super human standards of behavior.
If anyone needs to learn how to relax, it’s the Virgo dominant person. These people can be so wound up that even when doing things that most other people do to relax- like workout, meditate or go on nature walks, they’re so obsessed with doing them perfectly that these health-oriented activities can actually turn into other ways that Virgos beat themselves up.
It is the compulsion for perfection and control that Virgo must release (at least partially) in order for them to find any hope for a more peaceful existence. At their best, Virgo people are incredibly sweet, sensitive souls and the first to come in to lend a helping hand for the people they care about. They are deeply connected to the idea of selfless service and can be incredibly compassionate and caring people. They are tireless workers for those who cannot help themselves, which is how they integrate the value of justice in their lives. Virgos are deeply supportive of their families in these ways and don’t need the type of praise or acknowledgment that other signs might need for doing the same work. They work this way because the work speaks for itself, because their loved ones matter to them, and because it is through service that Virgos best show love. At their best they personify the 5 Languages ‘Acts of Service.’
Virgo people (that is- people with Virgo sun, moon, rising or somewhere else prominent) can benefit from changing the tone of their self talk, emulating the way they talk to others and using that tone of voice to talk to themselves. They can also deeply benefit from learning how to genuinely practice self care for themselves without the need to gain something from these practices. Can they try something new without having to be perfect at it? Can they learn how to listen to their bodies and, instead of doing another hour of exercise, maybe take a day off to stretch? Virgos also really benefit from allowing others to do certain tasks. Are there tasks that the Virgo person doesn’t actually enjoy doing? Maybe let someone else do it for you and practice letting go of what the end result looks like. If it’s done, then its done. Now rest.
